‘A friend of mine is an architect and she’s designed a series of apartments where the ceilings are all only 5ft 2in tall. It’s a Napoleon complex.’

Tenuous.

Before we get started on this weeks thrilling instalment, I just want to say thank you for all the letters and emails I’ve been receiving. Please do keep them coming in.

Just to answer some of the many questions:-

Karen from Chelmsford my favourite colour is Blue.

Mike from Northampton, I wanted to be an Astronaut when I was at school

Tony from Croydon, I interpret the doctrine of transubstantiation in more of a metaphorical sense as opposed to the literal transformation of the Eucharist.

Hope that helps.

So what’s been happening since we last spoke. Well, I gave that set I’d been struggling with another shot. It was still the same premise as before where I’m wrestling with if I should write political material or knob gags but I tried front loading it with a few jokes to see if it went down any better. It definitely worked slightly better but it’s still not exactly bringing the house down so I think I’m going to park it for a bit and try something else.

I’ve actually been working on another set that is far less conceptual bollocks and just a load of jokes. I’m not sure I’d want to do it all the time but I’ve done a few open mic nights recently where pretty much every comedian has done some kind of post modern set playing on the concept of stand up and it’s been crying out for someone to just go full on Frank Carson, get up there and tell a load of mother in law gags. I might even wear a light up spinning dicky bow for added variety hall effect.

I actually watched some old clips of the 70’s show The Comedians recently. For those of you who don’t remember The Comedians, it was a prime time ITV programme back in the Seventies where grizzled old Northern comedians went through their hack routines. Watching it now the funniest thing about it is the fact there’s more crushed velvet and jewellery on display than in Liberaces tour wardrobe which seems particularly incongruous when worn by pitbulls like Bernard Manning.

They do however counteract the dandy and slightly effeminate nature of the clothing by smoking profusely throughout their set like proper northern troopers. Oh and by being Racist as well.

Watching it now is a thoroughly depressing experience as it brings back Proustian memories of the 70’s – the cold war paranoia, Thatcher reeking havoc, bitter 70’s winters and institutionalised racism and sexism.

Or as UKIP would have it – the good old days.

Politics!

Someone whose act does still stand up reasonably well (barring the occasional bit of outright sexism) is Dave Allen. I remember thinking Dave Allen was incredibly cool back in the 70’s as he smoked and sipped his whisky. The jokes still work for the most part including one about an Atheist and the pope arguing which is well worth looking up on You Tube.

Anyway that’s me for this one. Please do keep sending your pictures in. Remember we can’t return any painting you send to us but there is a small prize for any we display.

Paul Entwistle